Today is my last night in Singapore before I begin my trips.
Am I excited? Honestly, no.
It seems like just any other day.
Perhaps reality hasn’t struck.
So first trip off to Vietnam for 11 days.
Hoping to cover 7 cities.
Then I’ll be back for 2 days before I’m off to Indonesia.
Back for a night and head out to Taiwan.
Spend Christmas in Singapore.
And commence the last trip to Bintan for camp.
About a month of travelling.
So Goodbye Singapore.
The other day over dinner, CY was saying how love makes people childish.
I really have to agree with that.
Coz i’ve seen myself acting really childish and ridiculous.
Things that i don’t usually do or feel.
Now, jealousy is a common emotions.
And sometimes i purposely say or do things in order to spite the other people.
These are things that i despise myself of.
I guess all these arises due to insecurity.
Insecurity due to a lack of status.
Insecurity due to a lack of hope.
Don’t let the ‘weather’ out there influence you.
Instead, carry your own ‘weather’ within you and not let external factors affect you.
Because you have the freedom and power to choose.
“When you stop fighting for one another, that’s the end of humanity!”
I’m in no position to feel the way I am feeling because I’m just a nobody.
Recently, there are thoughts that perhaps I am just being made used of.
I’m just a replacement and that’s all.
Perhaps I mean nothing at all.
And all that I am experiencing may just be an illusion or simply are lies.
Everytime I feel we’re moving 1 step forward, then things will happen and I will feel like shit.
Certain things I just can’t get out of my mind.
And I know, we may never have a future.
But I just simply can’t seem to let go.
It’s hard.
And I know this is unhealthy.
But I really don’t know what to do now.
This is self-torture i guess.
I’m feeling a little down today.
Emo-ing.
Lotsa emotions and thoughts.
But yet don’t know how to express.
Penned up emotions.
Alright so confirmed 3 trips in the month of November and December.
3 countries in total.
I guess, that breaks my record.
Have never really travelled to so many countries in 1 month and is feeling real excited about it.
Vietnam, Taiwan and Bintan.
Wait for me!
I’m coming!
Certain aspect of life is still confusing.
I guess it may have gotten worse.
It just that I choose to ignore the confusion.
I know it’s bad but it’s pretty hard to steer off and move on.
And that also explains why my emotions can move up and down.
But a good thing is work is so busy now, that I hardly have the time to think about things and so I don’t get that much affected now.
Keyword is “Much”, so yep at times I still do. :p
Hi folks, it’s been some time since I last updated.
Life is still as busy.
Ups and downs, like a rollercoaster.
Good times and bad times.
One moment, I feel high up in the sky, the next totally stressed out.
Today stress level was at 80%.
Gotta shut the world out by blasting music on my ear phone to keep me from snapping at others.
But when all is done, it felt like a heavy stone was lifted off my chest.
Things seem to be almost done by now, before the next thing arrives again.
But hopefully, I can catch a breather for 2 days. *prays hard*
Funny and terrible thing happened.
Funny coz it was a foolish act and terrible coz it could have landed us in even more trouble.
Thank God for the grace upon us.
If not, I really don’t know how our future will be like.
Currently, still not totally out of trouble yet, so gotta continue to pray for it.
I think I have gotten quite zen about shit happening to me.
Coz it seems like every day or every week, theres bound to be some trouble that happen.
And if I didn’t learn to be zen about it, I would have gotten crazy and joined my fellow colleagues who are now residing in IMH.
This is just an occupation where you are supposed to be perfect but the problem lies in the fact that there is no perfection in life.
Hence, you can never be perfect or good enough in your job.
So yep, I’ve grown accustomed to that.
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