The saddest distance is to sit beside someone and not feeling their presence.
Not knowing what they are thinking.
Not knowing how they are feeling.
Trust once broken seems hard to restore.
I don’t know if I can still believe someone like how i used to.
I thought I could do it.
And I want to do it.
But somehow, deep inside of me, I know it just ain’t the same anymore.
Perhaps I’ve been more sensitive.
Or perhaps the lies are consistent.
I do not know.
But my sixth sense is pretty strong now.
And my heart doesn’t feel good.
I know efforts are made but I no longer felt touched or so.
What will you do if you know someone is lying to you??
What will you do if you know the person lied but put in effort to conceal that lie?
I’m at loss.
The more I want to protect someone, the more I end up hurting them.
Or is it myself that I am protecting that cause the hurts?
The more pain I feel, the more I retreats and in the end, the more I hurt myself and others.
What will be a good solution?
Went to 3 main cities/ towns of Indonesia.
Jakarta, Bogor and Bandung.
Jakarta is a place for shopping.
A city with many huge shopping malls.
While we were there, we just went to all the different malls as well as the watch movie.
Caught 2 movies over at Jakarta as it was cheap – Twilight: New Moon and Ninja Assassin.
Their cinema is actually quite comfy. It’s like our Picturehouse here in Singapore.
My ice-blended chocolate I bought at the cinema is the same price as 2 movie tickets.
That’s how cheap it is.
Was supposed to meet up with Peterpan but he met with a car accident the moment he reached and had to return back to Singapore.
So there we were left with 2 girls in Indonesia.
On our last day in Jakarta, before we depart to Bogor, we went to Ancol, which is a theme park.
It is more like a town with many theme parks and attractions.
But we went during the weekday and many of the attractions was not open.
In the end, we only went to the Seaworld, which is like our Underwater World.
After 3 days in Jakarta, we decided to head on to Bogor.
The moment we reached Bogor, we went to have lunch.
It was my first time eating Nasi Padang where al we have to do is find a seat and sit down. DOn’t have to order anything as the server will just bring all their dishes to you and display it in front of you. SO you just eat what you want and pay for those dishes you ate. Quite interesting but of course a bit unhygienic too, I feel.But it was an experience. Lucky I went with R who knows the rule of it. If not, I may just grab a bit of each and the bill will cost a bomb.
Drove past the Presidential Palace as it was closed and saw hundreds of deer in the palace. They were just roaming around the palace grounds. So cute!
Head on to the Botanical Gardens and the Zoological museum. The botanical garden was actually founded by Sir Stamford Raffles. The museum has a replica of how huge a whale will be. And wow! No wonder, it is the world’s largest mammal.
Next we went on to Taman Safari, which is about 1-2 hours ride from Bogor. This was my favorite place in Indonesia and the most memorable one. It is a safari where you can drive your own car in. There are different sections to the Safari featuring the animals of different areas. It was a bit like Jurassic Park. Just that it’s not dinosaurs that they are displaying. It was fun watching the animals up close, just next to you. And you can wind down your window to feed them. But of course, there’s danger too with the tigers, lions and elephants so close to you. So people, don’t agitate the animals there and you will be safe.
After that, the very nice Taxi Driver actually helped us to get on a bus to Bandung. It was a 3 hours ride from Bogor. In Bandung, we went to visit Kawah Ratu, the main crater of Mt. Tangkuban Perahu, a volcano. Yea it was huge. We didn’t track down to see the volcanic activity as the price quoted to us was too expensive. Oh and we nearly ate Rabbit Satay. Coz we didn’t stop for lunch and the cab driver wanted to recommend us to this food called Kelinci Satay. We didn’t know what Kelinci means and so after his very enthusiastic recommendation, we decided to give it a try. But thank God that while we were on our way, we pass by some places where there’s a lot of rabbits and he pointed out to us that those are Kelinci. That;s when we realise he want us to try rabbit satay! OMG! We nearly fainted. anyway apart from the volcano we visited and the near attempt of trying Rabbit Satay, we went to a crater lake that is milky green in color. Visited strawberry farms as well and bought strawberries to eat which i suspect was the reason for my diarrhoea. Along the way the view was fantastic. Tea plantation everywhere on the mountains. Beautiful.
Head back to Bandung and was a bit traumatized by our hotel as we were the only occupants on the entire 2nd level. The 3rd and 4th are empty. And the 1st has 7 rooms being occupied. That’s when we decided we had enough of lousy hotels, after about 16 nights from both Vietnam and Indonesia, we started calling all the 5 star hotels and was told they are all booked. Our last hope was a 4 star hotel and viola! There’s only 1 room left and so immediately we took it without much hesitation. The next day, when we checked in to the hotel, we were so happy to see huge and comfy bed with many facilities in the hotel. Then our happiness has to end. While we were taking the lift to the lobby, I heard a snap of cable and the lift came to a halt. PRessed the emergency button but there was no one who responded. It was our first time being stuck in a lift. No reception to call the hotel and so apart from pressing the emergency button, we just keep banging the door. After about 15 minutes, the door was finally opened and we had to jump to the lobby. Was traumatized and filed a complain. The hotel manager said it was their first time experiencing that too. WE were just appalled at how that could happen and how there was no response and how we weren’t let out immediately but instead left there while the repairman attempted to repair the lift with us in the lift. In the end the Hotel upgraded us to another room, a room with Jacuzzi. Cool! So after all our shopping, we went back to a bigger room and soak in our Jacuzzi watching movie with a complimentary platter of fruits, sparkling wine, donuts and tidbits. Total enjoyment! Hee. So it turns out to be a blessing after the trauma. So that;s how we end our Indonesia trip, with a bit of luxury! 
I’m home!
After 9 flights, i’m finally back to the comfort of my home.
Yea it’s nice to be back.
Back to the same old familiar smell of the city.
And of course my own bed.
As memories of the trip, I brought along with me 1 tattoo and 1 naval piercing from Taiwan.
And Singapore gave me a sprained ankle as a Christmas Gift.
How nice is that?
Ouch!
2 more ferry rides and that will conclude the trips of 2009.
So not looking forward to that. :p
Mountain climbing, I hate that! 
Day 4:
One of my favourite days spent in Vietnam. WE went to Halong Bay. Departed at about 8am. Gotta travel about 4 hours to the place where we can get the ferry. On our way, we actually saw a person died of motorbike accident. The guy just lie there motionless with a cloth covering there. Locals just stand by the side and watch. Money was flying everywhere. It seems that nobody seems to treat it seriously. There was no ambulances or help of any form. TO mke things worse, there was a jam. So there we were caught in a jam with the dead body next to our bus. Anyway we arrived and took a boat trip to tour Halong Bay. Halong Bay is a UNESCO World Heritage Site. The sight was BEAUTIFUL. There are so many islands and caves surroundings. We went to visit one of the caves. Nice. Visited one of the floating village and had lunch on the boat. After lunch, we managed to kayak in Halong Bay itself. The scene is really good. And Kayaking here is really different from kayaking in SIngapore where all we see are buildings. Here it is islands and caves. It was so tranquil. After that we took the boat trip back to the jetty and proceeded with our 4 hour ride back to Hanoi. It was a long day but the trip is really worth it.
Day 5:
We travelled to Ninh Binh and visited 2 of the late-kings temple. Both temples are similar. I guess I am not a fan of temples. :p ANd by the way, we got lost while visiting one of the temple. Separated from the rest of the group. But eventually we found them. After the temple-visiting, we were asked if we want to ride a bike to our next destination. And all the while, we 3 thought that the bike they are refering is the motorbike until we were at the shop and out came the bicycles. What a joke. YEa so we cycled for 12km to our next destination where we had our lunch. The cycling trip was interesting as we really get into the city and see the life of the locals. If Hanoi is SIngapore in its 80s, then those town or village we pass by during our cycling trip looks like Singapore in its 70s or early 80s. After lunch, we went on a boat cruise. The boat is like those sampan boat and each boat sits 2 rowers and 2 passengers. Really marvel the rowers how they can row continuously for 2 hours straight. I tried for about 15mins and my arms are already aching. Oh our rowers are actually a married couple in maybe their 40s or 50s. So sweet working together. But they receive very little pay only but they are still so happy. Simple life brings simple happiness i guess. Somehting which i sometimes crave for. But life back here in Singapore is too complicated and my life here is in a mess. Anyway we visited Tam Coc which means 3 grottoes (caves). So we were on a boat trip through the 3 caves and get to view the beautiful landscape. Tam Coc is a bit like Halong Bay but on a smaller scale. The scale may be smaller but the beauty is still there. We then took a sleeping bus to Hue which is 14 hours away. Quite interesting. My first time on a sleeping bus. There are about 48 or 49 beds with 1 toilet on board the bus. 3 columns of beds with double deck. It’s actually not too bad. You can lie almost flat down with a pillow and blanket. You can hide your leg in the small compartment at the end of the bed which is also below where the person below you is sleeping on. If you are petite, you will find it’s not too bad. But if you are of a bigger size, then it may not be so. And of course, the upper deck certainly seem to be more comfortable and try not to get the bed on top of the toilet. Not that it smell or wadever, but there’s no compartment to stick your leg in and the incline is a bit higher so it’s less comfortable. But overall, the first experience of a sleeper bus was nice.
Day 6:
Arrived at Hue and have only 5 hours before we board the bus to Hoi An. Simple town again. It was an imperial capital of some dynasty. We got on a motorbike tour. The uncle who pillion me is quite nice and friendly. In his 40s or 50s I think. So we went off to visit some bunkers, tombs, temples, citadel and the imperial city. On the outside, the imperial city looks small but once we enter through the gates, wow, it’s huge. It’s like the forbidden city in China but of course this is a smaller version but still it’s big. Hmm but the sight is not as spectacular. They are currently undergoing renovation and restoration. So everywhere is in a mess. A combination of the old and new. But it was interesting touring on motorbike. Recommended to try at least once if you are in Vietnam. Caught a sleeper bus to Hoi An which took about 4 hours. The view of the journey from Hue to Hoi An is beautiful. I fell asleep in the midst of the journey and which I woke up, I was welcomed with massive landscape. Mountains, the wide blue sea and the bay. Then we pass by Da Nang. Da Nang looks more developed with taller buildings and the people are dressed better too. Finally reached Hoi An which is a small town. A shopping place.
Day 7:
A day to sleep in where we do not have to wake early to catch a tour or a bus to anywehre. Hoi An is a shopping town where you can tailor make anything from shoes, bags to clothes. I did 2 shoes, 2 shirts and 3 pants. Pretty affordable price and they are fast. Within a day you can get them back. But of course, usually the 1st fitting doesn;t fit as nicely. Hmm honestly, I didn;t really like my shirts and pants as much as my travelling partners. But the shoes are pretty ok except the fact it’s a little big and there was no time left to alter the sizes. So I just make do with it.Then off we proceeded on the bus to Nah Trang in order to catch another bus to Mui Ne.
Day 8:
Arrived at Nah Trang. A city by the sea. Had breakfast and off we go again to Mui Ne. Mui Ne is a beach resort area. It’s not really like Bali or Bintan, not that I’ve been there but it doesn;t look like those places on posters or TV. But still, it;s a beach resort overlooking the South China Sea. It’s not too bad. On our way to Mui Ne, there was a loud bang and I’m not sure of the tyre of the bus burst or the suspension of the bus broke down. Whatever it is, the ride after that was bumpy and slow. It was like taking a camel or elephant ride. But yea reached Mui Ne, a simple beach resort town. Head to the White Sand Dune on a motorbike and the sand dunes look impressive. Tried Sand Sledding where I am given a cardboard-like mat and had to lie or sit on it to slide down the sand dune. It was fun and had myself covered with sand all over. Sliding down was fun but the climb back up the sand dune was tiring. I did 3 rounds and my eneergy was drained.
Day 9:
Simply laze around the resort and just immerse in the view of the South China Sea. Then bus back to HCM.
Day 10 and 11:
Relaxing days in HCM where we just laze around and shop around. BOught all that we need to buy before heading back to the airport for the flight back to SIngapore.
Back from Vietnam.
Not too bad.
There’s something interesting that happened almost every single day.
Day 1:
Arrived at Ho Chi Minh, Tan Soon Nhat International Airport. The Airport was quite interesting as you can still see the remains of Bunkers at the side of the runway. What greeted us in HCM was the traffic. Our journey of 7km took about an hour. Traffic was rather crazy. There are tons of motorbikes running around. And it seems that there is no traffic rules. Traffic lights are present but not really followed. It’s common to see people U-turn all of a sudden, motorbikers stopping to smoke while waiting for the jam to clear. Honking is a common activity too ( I thought that was fun :p). Arrived at our hotel, check in and toured around Pham Ngu Lao in District 1 which is the backpackers area. Did Manicure and Pedicure with nail art for a price of only about US$10. Things are rather cheap. And That area is crowded with foreigners. Communications is not really an issue as most vietnamese can communicate in simple english.
Day2:
Caught a tour to Cao Dai Temple which is about 4 hours ride away. Cao Dai is the 3rd largest religion in Vietnam. It is a combination of Christianity, Taoism, Buddhism and Confucianism. We went to observe the ceremony in the largest Cao Dai Temple that occur at exactly 12pm. Hmm honestly, there’s nothing much. It’s just seeing people coming together to pray, that’s all. Next we head off to Cu Chi Tunnel. These undergroung tunnels are used during the Vietnam war for hiding and living. It’s amazing how people can live in such confined space. And it also shows how smart the people are in coming up with the idea of the tunnel such that it is small enough for the Vietnamese but not the Americans. We got the chance to crawl through one of the tunnel. It was ok. Think maybe because we did tried the caving thingy in school before and so we have gotten used to the kind of cramp and pitch black condition. Oh it was raining cats and dogs when we were touring the Cu Chi Tunnel. And because the guide and us didn’t want to waste time waiting for the rain to stop, we continued on our journey. So there we are all drenched. It was quite an interesting way to tour around and definitely memorable too. Checked out Gossip Club in HCM. It was a really nice and atas club. Heard that it is quite a popular club which attracts many interenational DJ. And I must say service there is great. The security there will even guide your way and help you light your cigarette. They even got us a seat. And it’s a nice comfortable lounge sofa. People there really dressed up to club unlike here in our country. Everyone looks good! Then we proceeded to Go Go Go Bar back at Pham Ngu Lao for drinks and supper. It was still pouring and the streets are flooded. But life of the locals doesn’t seem disrupted. People still continue selling their noodles and bikers simply got down their bike and push their bike around. Life pretty much remain the same for them. Only us the foreigners think it’s an unique sight.
Day 3:
Went on a HCM city tour. Visited the Giam Lam Pagoda which is like a temple. Then went on the Binh Tay market but the guide was in such a rush, we practically just zoom through within like 10 mins. Visited another temple which is hidden in the building. In the afternoon, went over to the the war remnants museum and once again it proves that history is actually quite subjective. Next stop is at Reunification Hall which is quite boring as it’s like touring a conference hall. Visited Notre Dame Cathedral and the General Post Office and took some pictures. All in all, the city tour was quite boring actually as it’s just seeing of places. And they are not really spectacular places, I feel. MAybe if we were to tour it ourselves, we will have enjoyed it better. We then took a domestic flight to Hanoi that night and was shocked to hear that Hanoi will be very cold as we all all dressed in tanks and shorts. But anyway, we arrived in Hanoi late at night and got onto this mini-bus taxi that is packed with people. It’s really kinda like a bet. You know, we can only trust them that they will really send us to where we wanna go as it is that late at night and we do not know the place. Hanoi looks very different from HCM. It’s less noisy and more laid back. There are less street lights and less buildings and traffic. Tall, huge buildings are kinda rare. The only ones I saw are the MNCs. They look like giant amidst the local shops and houses. The feel is like Singapore in it’s 80s. Dusty roads with low simple buildings and shops. Of course, all the shops are closed by the time we reached the town. It’s around 12am. And whenever the bus stops to alight the passenger, a common sight was to have a group of men crowding around. They don’t really look friendly. And we were a bit traumatised. I secretly wish that we will be the last to alight and hopefully the bus will send us straight to the hotel as I do not wish to be caught with such a struggle. Yea and so we were the last to alight and yes we were alighted right in front of our hotel BUT the hotel is closed!! In fact, all the shops and hotels are closed! There is no form of activity and life in the town! That really caught us by surprise. Had no choice but to bang on the door and thank God that soembody came to the door then the 2nd bad news came, there is no more room! But the guys were nice and eventually they helped us call around and got us a room. And the hotel is actually not too bad.
I’m back.
For 2 nights only.
But on this very 1st night I’m back, I already feel like shit.
Not because of the trip.
But due to the many emotions that I’m feeling now that I am back.
The emotions that are penned up in me resulted in me being such an ass.
No way of expressing.
And so I can only be emo.
I have always believe in Communications in a relationship.
But because there is no relationship, communications is halted.
And so no one can really understand what is really going on in one another’s mind.
Words are left unspoken.
Misunderstanding arises.
I feel like shit today because I felt like I am never good enough.
It was a simple comment but it traces back to many other things and left me feeling that way.
I am not good with backpacking.
I don’t really like thrill rides.
I am not good in many things.
And maybe that’s why I am always treated as a spare.
I have no one that I can call my own.
Always a reserve.
My mind and heart is constantly battling.
Mind says it’s time to draw an end.
But the heart refuses and plunges deeper.
I know I am nothing.
Today is my last night in Singapore before I begin my trips.
Am I excited? Honestly, no.
It seems like just any other day.
Perhaps reality hasn’t struck.
So first trip off to Vietnam for 11 days.
Hoping to cover 7 cities.
Then I’ll be back for 2 days before I’m off to Indonesia.
Back for a night and head out to Taiwan.
Spend Christmas in Singapore.
And commence the last trip to Bintan for camp.
About a month of travelling.
So Goodbye Singapore.
The other day over dinner, CY was saying how love makes people childish.
I really have to agree with that.
Coz i’ve seen myself acting really childish and ridiculous.
Things that i don’t usually do or feel.
Now, jealousy is a common emotions.
And sometimes i purposely say or do things in order to spite the other people.
These are things that i despise myself of.
I guess all these arises due to insecurity.
Insecurity due to a lack of status.
Insecurity due to a lack of hope.
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