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As reflecting on the post earlier, then i realised most of these are “external” things in a sense.
Then i was reminded that what is important is what is on the inside than what is on the outside.
Things on the outside may be transient and deceiving.
What is lasting and real is on the inside.
Walking in confidence is the key!.
If you don’t even believe in yourself, who will?
If you don’t even appreciate yourself, who is going to do that?
To gain it from others, we must first feel it ourselves.
Maybe i’m….
not good enough…
not good-looking enough…
not tall enough…
not rich enough…
not smart enough…
not fun enough…
don’t know photography..
don’t have car…
and etc.
There are just days when you feel so tiny miny small that your sense of worth get smashed.
Truth is sometimes withheld or lies are sometimes created not to hurt but to protect the ones we love.
It’s this time of the year again.
The time when i was so full of hope but yet it reduced to nothing all of a sudden.
You ask me how can i remember?
But the truth is how can i forget.
I remembered how i spend time making all arrangements for a special night.
But having to cancel all reservations and arrangements one by one, painfully.
Even today, i can still remember the words you said and the excitement it drew.
But at the end of the day, they became lies or blank cheques i guess.
But more importantly, apart from all these, i still remember the date coz you meant something to me.
Though in the end, everything turn to nothing, you still hold a special corner in my heart.
You taught me so much though they all came with a price.
Now i look upon you as a special someone but this time round, without any of the feelings i used to have.
Coincidentally, the songs that’s playing now is “Almost Over You”.
A song that speaks exactly how i felt years ago.
But now i am absolutely over you.
“Almost Over You” – Sheena Easton
I saw an old friend of ours today
she asked about you
I didn’t quite know what to say
heard you’ve been making the rounds
’round here
while i’ve been trying to make tears disappear……
Now i’m almost over you
i’ve almost shook these blues
so when you come back around
after painting the town, you’ll see
i’m almost over you……..
You’re such a sly one with your cold, cold heart
maybe leaving came easy
but it tore me apart
time heals all wounds, they say
and I should know
’cause it seems like forever
but i’m letting you go…..
Now i’m almost over you
i’ve almost shook these blues
so when you come back around
after painting the town, you’ll see
i’m almost over you…..
I can forgive you and soon i’ll forget
all those shattered dreams
although you’ve left me with nothing to show
full of misery….
Now i’m almost over you
i’ve almost shook these blues
so when you come back around
after painting the town, you’ll see
i’m almost over you…….
Many a times, we can’t move on because we can’t let go of the past.
Because we can’t let go of the people of the past.
We still hold them of importance.
We still compare others with them.
I guess it’s always hard to acknowledge the fact that people do leave.
That sometimes there is just no “forever and ever”.
Or that sometimes things just don’t necessary go the way we want it to be.
That there are bound to be dissapointments and sadness in life.
There’s always a phase to recovery.
From the initial confusion, to regrets, to anger, back to regrets, then slowly to understanding and acknowledgement.
The phrase “time heals all wounds” is always true.
It’s only a matter of how long it really needs or takes.
How many second-chances will you give someone?
.
.
Why do i always falter on my decision to ignore people?
I hate being neglected or ignored or not respected.
Don’t ask me out when you are always a minimum of an hour late.
Or at least inform me beforehand.
I hate waiting. Or rather i am tired of waiting.
1 hour, 2 hours, 3 hours….. You always have your reasons.
It’s always waiting and more waiting. And i’m sick of that.
But everytime i said that and made a decision, you came back initiating a meetup, which is the rarest thing you did.
And i gave in again, though with fear in my heart.
And no matter how angry i am, upon seeing you, i just couldn’t reprimand you but said it’s okay instead.
Oh man, what a faiure is that.
And that is my weak point to be taken in by your tehness.
It has been a hectic week with one assignment due almost every single day.
Time was mostly spent staring at the screen to churn out words for the papers.
Loss of appetite, lack of sleep , dizzy spells and increased stress results in a little vulnerability/ fragility.
A quiet and boring CNY.
Was never a fan of CNY since i didn’t really enjoy house-visiting.
I do it out of obligations and nothing else.
Was never close to relatives.
It was a torture for me to sit still throughout the day with basically nothing to do.
Conversation was still the same like any other years, with the same sort of questions.
What was different this year was the fact that i gave chinatown a miss and headed to the Museum for the Greek Masterpiece exhibition instead.
I still like CNY, but more so becuase of the long holidays.
where late-nights, sleep-ins and tv-watching became a norm.
A Tim Burton’s film.
If you have been following his films like Batman, Corpse Bride, Edward Scissorshand, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, Sleepy Hollow and my favorite, Big Fish, you will find that his films are always very different. Very unique and out of the norm.
The characters are usually pale-faced. Often an outcast. And possess erratic personality and behaviour.
As usual of a Tim Burton’s film, the movie takes on a dark veil.
Be it the plot, music or visual, they complement one another in creating or honing this darkness.
I love how the film manage to make London takes on this dark and mystery tone that is in line with the movie.
Tim Burton also managed to make gruesome things appear normal and as a matter-of-fact thing.
But still i had a hard time swallowing the slashing and with the corpse hitting the ground at such force.
But one thing i really love about the film is the music! The music composition and the orchestra.
By the way, this is a musical film.
And it’s unique because i have never seen a musical film that has a gothic or horror plot.
But don’t expect the singing to match those of broadway as the singing are done by the actors themselves.
But i felt it is actually more apt to have these not-so-perfect singing to match the story.
All in all, if you are a fan of Johnny Depp, you will love this movie. His acting is still as awesome. I like the way he acts with his eyes and expressions. How the character just come alive through his eyes.
And If you are a fan of goth or you enjoy movie that is not so conventional, then you will love this movie!
But if you are not, and you find blood-splaterring disturbing, and you can never appreciate dark humor, then this is probably not a film for you.
Was tagged by Manqin to post 6 random things about myself.
so here it goes……
1. I love to shop for books but i don’t really have the patient to read them, cover to cover. My justification for buying them is that i can read them when i’m old. To keep myself knowledgeable and mind active even when i’m old.
2. I have a really small bed! One that J thinks it’s kid’s size. Mummy bought it and it’s supposed to be a sofabed. But i guess it functions better as a sofa than a bed.
3. The most-seen color in my wardrobe (not considering black and white) is pink.
4. I am labelled as a ADHD kid in school due to my short attention span and occasional hyper-activeness.
5. I am actually quite shy despite looking or sometimes behaving otherwise.
6. I can be quite a touchy person. Touch is my love language, both giving and receiving.
*I’m supposed to tag some other people but i seriously have no idea who i should tag… so whoever is reading this and is interested to do so, pls go ahead… *
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