You are currently browsing the monthly archive for March 2008.
4 clubs/ bar in a night.
Mox, China One, MOS and Geographer’s Bar.
All with very different style and decor.
From gay bar to thai bar.
Indeed a very interesting night.
It has been so long since i last party that hard.
As for now, it’s time i crash into my bed.
So ciao!
Feeling of frustration, perplexity and limitation.
The job is taking a toll on my emotions.
It sucks to know that one day you will hurt the ones you loved.
Watching the film plus listening to the stories of others really start to make me think about the future.
I’ve always just throw the thought aside as i do not know how to handle it.
And i was afraid of facing it.
My parents love me to the core.
They always treat me like a baby and their princess.
And I’ve always been allowed to do what i want.
They are always so concern about me.
And it really hurt me to know one day i will have to disappoint them.
That one day, i will have to admit how i fall short of their expectation.
I don’t know. Maybe now I’m just a little too sensitive about all these.
But i can’t deny that one day this will happen.
Of course, the future is unknown.
But these thoughts just can’t leave.
It will definitely be hard.
And i am so afraid of hurting them.
But i know, it is impossible to hide and pretend forever.
After all, they are the closest people and they are the ones whom we should be the most real to.
But what about the saying of us being selfish when we tell the truth and we know that there are repercussions that follows the truth and that people are going to get hurt.
I guess, living in this world is always so complicated, conflicting and confusing.
It’s all about making decisions and living out that decision.
And of course. every decision comes with it pros and cons.
And there is no way out of it.
Alright, ever since the job started, i haven have the time to update.
I’m like facing the lappy throughout the whole day churning out work.
But as usual, due to my procrastinating nature, i haven really done much.
I’m always distracted with watching films at the end of the day.
Just finished 7 seasons of HC over the weekends. From season 8 to season 14.
The seasons that contained the story of Maca and Esther.
And i’m sad that it’s all over.
But probably, now i will not have any more distraction to my work.
The vast input of drama into my life has once again caused me to reflect on my life.
I’m always very affected with movies/film.
Thinking how i will react to the same situation should i be presented with it.
But I guess we won’t really know until we really face the situation itself.
Why is the world so cruel.
So relentless.
Whay can’t the world be more forgiving.
More accepting.
More loving towards once another.
Why can’t they see beyond the differences and into their similarities.
Why can’t they just see the love that exists.
Why is it that people have to be adament about their own opinion and perspective and refuse to accept another.
Why can’t there be reasoning?
Why can’t they just see things in another perspectives?
What crime was committed?
What wrong was done?
But just two people in love.
.
.
.
It’s amazing how a movie can raise such emotions and disappointments.
Will you choose the one you love passionately but who has betrayed and hurt you?
Or will you choose the one that you like and whom you know you will have a better future with?
It’s logical to choose the one with a better future but how do they deal with the emotional attachment to the one they love?
But i guess love once betrayed is hard to trust again.
Scars remain and will never be completely healed.
So why settle for hurts when bliss is right ahead.
That’s probably what went through in the mind.
That i can only guess.
One week past.
Yet nothing much has been done.
An unproductive week.
It’s yet another week testifying to my procrastination.
“Sometimes it is selfish to tell the truth especially when you know there are consequences to the truth.“
I beg to differ in what was preached.
Is it really possible to be totally transparent in this world?
To be totally real in front of others with absolutely nothing to hide?
Frankly speaking, i think this is just an ideal.
To me, i find it hard to achieve that.
To be totally open means to be totally vulnerable as well.
Vulnerable to attacks, vulnerable to repercussions.
Sometimes in life, perhaps it is better not to be totally transparent so as not to attract unneccessary trouble/problem.
I guess it really depends on the situation and person.
It’s about discernment. It’s about wisdom.
Day by day i heard more and more negative comments.
Sometimes it’s just hard not to be affected by what others have said or shared.
Coz we can’t validate if that is true or not since we may not even be sure of our own experiences.
How we may be blinded or fooled.
So who do we trust?
Do we wanna take a risk?
A risk that entails 3 years of my life?
It’s gonna be yet another tough decision.
Sometimes i really wonder why did i ever sign on the dotted line.
There are pros and cons of course.
But sometimes i just begin to question.
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