I think the worst feeling in life is the feeling of being misunderstood and judged.

Sometimes it is not enough to just look at the surface.

The truth or the most real thing may be hidden from the public.

The things closest to heart may not be those that are spoken.

Hence, don’t come to a conclusion based on what you see or hear.

I don’t mind the different opinions or perspectives.

But please don’t judge, especially when one doesn’t know the situation well.

That is the reason why i have been avoiding this topic of posting with certain people.

Coz i know they are just going to make me feel worse.

I admit i was quite affected by the posting results and all this appeal thingy.

Wasn’t quite in the mood to party or do any thing this few days other than to watch some drama to distract myself from thinking about the issue.

I don’t like to talk about this with my parents coz they are not really sure of what’s going on and why i was so reluctant in moving to the new posting.

And of course, i didn’t want them to worry for me.

Maybe this isn’t so big an issue to others but to me, it is coz it concerns my future.

And it is critical to be in an environment where it is conducive for me to grow and learn.

Alright, to be truthful, i am just scared.

Can’t i just have the right to be afraid?

Can’t i not always be so calm and rational?

Can’t i just be lost?

I am not always that calm, rational and strong.

I can be scared too.

I can be unsure too.

I am fragile just like everyone else.

I am scared and lost about my future.

Especially it’s the future where it is the unknown and it entails taking steps into the dark.

I have reservation about the new posting coz i am afraid that i will grow to hate my job when i’m there.

That i will get depressed everyday.

I don’t want to join the list of people with depression from my line of work.

I want to grow to like my job even more and not to hate it.