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Today is my last night in Singapore before I begin my trips.
Am I excited? Honestly, no.
It seems like just any other day.
Perhaps reality hasn’t struck.
So first trip off to Vietnam for 11 days.
Hoping to cover 7 cities.
Then I’ll be back for 2 days before I’m off to Indonesia.
Back for a night and head out to Taiwan.
Spend Christmas in Singapore.
And commence the last trip to Bintan for camp.
About a month of travelling.
So Goodbye Singapore.
The other day over dinner, CY was saying how love makes people childish.
I really have to agree with that.
Coz i’ve seen myself acting really childish and ridiculous.
Things that i don’t usually do or feel.
Now, jealousy is a common emotions.
And sometimes i purposely say or do things in order to spite the other people.
These are things that i despise myself of.
I guess all these arises due to insecurity.
Insecurity due to a lack of status.
Insecurity due to a lack of hope.
Don’t let the ‘weather’ out there influence you.
Instead, carry your own ‘weather’ within you and not let external factors affect you.
Because you have the freedom and power to choose.
“When you stop fighting for one another, that’s the end of humanity!”
I’m in no position to feel the way I am feeling because I’m just a nobody.
Recently, there are thoughts that perhaps I am just being made used of.
I’m just a replacement and that’s all.
Perhaps I mean nothing at all.
And all that I am experiencing may just be an illusion or simply are lies.
Everytime I feel we’re moving 1 step forward, then things will happen and I will feel like shit.
Certain things I just can’t get out of my mind.
And I know, we may never have a future.
But I just simply can’t seem to let go.
It’s hard.
And I know this is unhealthy.
But I really don’t know what to do now.
This is self-torture i guess.
I’m feeling a little down today.
Emo-ing.
Lotsa emotions and thoughts.
But yet don’t know how to express.
Penned up emotions.
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