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为什么你总是让我失望，让我哭泣？
为什么幸福总是离我们那么遥远？
I tried my best in being a clown.
Smiling with tears at the corner of my eyes.
And I think I made a great improvement.
But I am not sure I am able to do the same agin.
Why is it that people always say that we must face reality when reality hurts so much?
Wht can’t we just stay in the bliss of a fantasy world?
A casual promise is always forgotten.
I was a fool to believe it.
But I still appreciate the gesture and the thought in it at that moment of time.
I am just easy to fool.
In fact, I have been a fool for just too long.
Was I even awake at all?
Or was I asleep in this fantasy world and dreamland?
Happiness doesn’t last.
Saw things I shouldn’t.
Heard things I shouldn’t.
I wanna be as normal as I can but I simply can’t.
I can’t smile and pretend that everything is fine because I know on the inside of me it is not.
Having to conceal my feelings and emotions just seem too tough for me right now.
I will learn and try harder the next time so to please everyone.
I will learn how to be a clown.
I will learn how to conceal my pain in order not to hurt anyone.
I am happy today!
Why is it that whenever I thought things are going well then there will bound to be disappointment?
You never fail to upset me.
And it is always at this moment that I feel like giving up and letting go completely.
And pissing you off purposely and doing everything to upset u too.
But I know I will never bear to do so.
I guess that’s the difference between you and me.
I am actually very easy to please.
I don’t need expensive gifts and extensive planning.
All I need is to know that I am constantly being remembered and missed.
I was actually quite disappointed when of all days she chose that day.
It just show how much I am not a priority.
And how un-important I am.
Birthday remains a disappointment.
在你眼里，我应该总是在无理取闹吧！
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